Surprisingly anger management is said to be the easiest area of work when it comes to mental health but it can hold elements of danger. If you find yourself going through phases of anger spikes or have noticed someone close to you developing anger more often read the below to make yourself aware of how to judge it and resolve it.
The easiest way to understand anger is by observing a child, when a child doesn’t get something they want they increase their persistence, if that doesn’t work they physically release pressure in a way that make others give them attention. In principle, this applies to all animals but humans over time gain the ability to rationalise their emotions through thinking. Anger management involves physical pressure release and rational thinking.
Where do emotions fit into this? We can go from crying to being angry to laughing and then back to crying all in the space of a dream. Blaming emotional instability is not ideal when it comes to anger management because that is the reaction to physical and mental processes. For example, when a family member calls you a funny name vs when a racist person calls you a funny name, the effect it has on us is created via the thinking towards it.
Anger management kicks in when you can’t control your thinking until your bodily energy restablises. If you are going through mental difficulties or situations where your irritation levels are being pushed then your passion or energy is building up like a pressure cooker. Whatever finally triggers you to get angry is not the real reason you are getting angry but then you may find yourself feeling bad about getting angry which will lead to feeling low. This essentially is the imbalance that causes anger issues and we find some of the least expected people who are seen to be calm have anger issues and some of the most aggressive people often have lazy habits.
Anger management is about helping someone find their right vibe and if they live with that flow you’ll stabilize the highs and lows then when something does make them angry they’ll be able to convert that energy into laughter, logic or even productivity.
Understandably the above takes time and requires behavior changes to get there so what we do in the meantime is implement short term tactics to get a person controlling their anger, things like exercise, self help videos and life planning. The main one to help people turn off their anger switch is to insert a gap, depending on the seriousness of their anger level, a time gap or task to separate the moment they want to assert anger and the point they actually act on it. A simple five second pause or a thought to say what would my kids or parents think of me doing this? The pause is there to allow the body’s energy to clear and the mental rush will settle.
A regularly angry person – essentially it’s a highly motivated person inside but their release is out of balance and therefore working against them.
If you are affected by an angry person then make sure you have a good number of people informed for your own safety, even if the person is only verbally aggressive. Sadly certain Asian communities only acknowledge the need for help after a violent situation occurs due to anger issues. Anger issues are really meant to be cleared much earlier because regret is one of the biggest consequences of anger issues.
Overall it’s an interesting topic because you learn about the biological level of human motivation and what it takes to make someone so momentarily motivated they could lift a car potentially.
If you have any questions on this topic feel free to reach out. I can record you a video if needed but make sure you don’t fall victim to anyone’s anger because it’s essentially them crying for help so you’re allowed to make sure they are helped.