If this was a known concept when we were growing up then so many things would be different, especially for south Asians. Putting pro dominance towards caring for others and expecting them to feel that way for you in return.
Generations before us held huge self-love deficits and it presents itself into various reactions and even as serious mental illnesses. Someone with a self-love deficit is likely to feel internally saddened at the news of other people doing well and is also likely to over-commit to helping those around them, even if it happens to be in the wrong way. The real issue comes when the person has given a lot of emotional investment and faces a form of rejection. The hit is a lot bigger because no self-development was taking place prior therefore your weakened state is more exposed.
Self-love is a hard topic to explain to someone that believes it’s selfish to put themselves first. Even if you manage to convince them to do something for themselves they’ll not let it become a habit. The way you have to explain it is that: self-love is serving those around you because once you’re in great form you’ll be more resourceful.
If everyone took great care of themselves then everyone would naturally be happy but it’s when we worry about others not being happy that we load guilt onto ourselves or being happy whilst they are suffering.
What to look out for is people who feel easily disappointed in themselves. It’s of no use to anyone to regret but it leads to a huge loss in self-esteem. Self-esteem and depression are heavily linked so it’s not a surprise that most depression cases are rooted from self-love deficits.
Watch out for phases in your life when you felt at your peak and when you felt low. You’ll notice it wasn’t due to the number of challenges you faced but more due to emotional rejection. Happy to cover any questions relating to psychology and mental health. Thanks for reading.